Ten months ago, Jack and I had our first day of school. For me, it was the first time I’d been in a classroom in nearly ten years. For Jack, it was his first real experience in an inclusion classroom where the majority of his peers were neurotypical and only a few, including himself, had special needs.
I remember helping him get dressed and ready for that first day. My fingers were shaking as I buttoned his little oxford shirt and told him “you’re going to have a great day, Jack.” I was excited, but also scared. My first class was later that night and I had so many questions racing through my mind as we both opened what felt like not a new chapter, but a new book in our lives.
How would things go? Would Jack make friends? Would I? Were the schools we enrolled in right for us? For our family? and How am I going to do this? How am I going to juggle a baby, a preschooler, a new kindergartener, and grad school? What have I gotten myself into?
What if we fall?
What if we fail?
And yet, the question What if we fly? was folded in among those questions, too. And, over time, that question grew stronger within me, until new questions sprouted and grew:
What if God has something bigger in mind for me and my children?
What if Jack and I could bring hope to others simply by opening a window into our daily life?
What if I could love more, work more, and give more for His kingdom?
And, as those questions rose, walls started coming down. I started being more honest, more open, more real. I started listening more, loving more, and stretching myself more. And here is what I’ve learned: If there’s something tugging at your heart that feels like it’s too far out of reach and yet you can’t seem to shake it, it probably means that’s the very thing you need to do. Will it be scary? Yes. Will you have doubts? Most certainly. Will you see “I can’t” shining bright like a neon sign in front of you? Yep. But if you turn doubt on its head and ask God to show you how to make the desires of your heart a reality, He will show you exactly what you’re made of and what you can do for His kingdom, for it truly is within us and at hand (Luke 17:21). So, when the world tells you, “you can’t,” friend, wholeheartedly tell it “He can.”