For weeks I’ve been wondering where to start. Where to pick up and begin in this space again. It’s hard when you haven’t written in a long time. When you realize you’ve let the crickets chirp too long in a space you promised you’d never let grow quiet.
I’ve sat down several times to write, but each time I sat in front of my computer I thought, But where do I begin?
So let’s begin again. Here. Now.
My boy is in kindergarten. My boy who has challenged me and softened me and made me dig deep within myself to discover who I truly am.
This boy who swings higher, jumps farther, runs harder, and giggles brighter than any child I’ve ever known.
Whose spirit alights when he holds a new book in his hands. When he masters a difficult route on the climbing wall. When he makes a new friend.
This boy who now walks the halls of a K-12 school with a “Jack-pack” on his back and tells me “Oh mommy, can you please not pick me up after lunch because I want to stay longer.”
He was so thrilled when he found out he could stay longer.
This boy who still holds my hand and tells me I’m silly and wants to watch our shadows grow tall as we walk side by side in the setting sun’s light.
My girl is in preschool, making new friends and enjoying the independence this new stage brings.
This girl who stands strong by her big brother’s side through times of both joy and anger, victory and defeat. Who sees him in such a way that makes me feel, no, makes me know that he will be ok. That he will build lasting friendships because she has taught him what a true friend is.
This girl who is sassy but soft, vibrant but shy.
This girl who loves chocolate and popcorn, family and music, laughter and dancing.
This little love who frolics with ladybug wings and says, “Mommy, you’re beautiful.”
This little one who feels deeply, loves fiercely, and lives confidently. Who sees the world through the eyes of an old-soul. Who understands well beyond her years. Who makes me laugh and cry and see that for every dark moment there a dozen bright ones just waiting to outshine it.
And oh, this baby. This baby who is crawling and laughing, standing and babbling.
This koala bear snuggle bug baby who nestles in my arms and makes me never want to let him go.
This gentle soul who brings calm to our clan of bold personalities.
Who delights in the journey, wherever it may lead and reminds me that new joy dawns each day. And that God has His hand in it all.